Nothing 8: My Diamond

You give me a warm feeling inside whenever I think about you. And it’s all the time now. You always make me feel young and pretty and immature and mature and hopeful. You melt my heart. I have never felt like that with anyone. You are a happy change. You are an amazing person. With…

Nothing 7

Returning home. After you yourself have changed but nothing and no one else has. The longer spent home, the more the recent experiences slip into a dream-like state, and they are no longer clear, but symbols. The old pains come back. The old emotions and longing that drowned me before I left to try to…

Nothing 6

It's hard seeing someone go. And it's painful knowing I'm too scared to say goodbye. I just hoped we could have seen each other face to face one last time, before you left. I wanted to smile at you again and stare at your wide and sensitive eyes. Even though we give each other anxiety,…

Nothing 5

Today is your birthday. I hope you are happy. I hope you have found your peace. I was never able to tell you how much you meant to me: You are the only person I’ve ever met that made me feel like I wasn’t all alone in this world. I thank you for that. So…

Nothing 4

I know you like my body. My waist is small enough for your hands to wrap around and touch your fingers. My thighs, hips, and ass are big enough to shake the world with your poundings. My chest just enough to be cupped by your strong, firm hands. I don’t mind showing my body to…

Nothing 3

I’m suffocating again. I’ve been through this several times before. I don’t know how many times this is supposed to happen. I’m afraid it will be recurring for the rest of my life. Heavy feeling over my chest. Urge to disappear. Longing for death. Doors are closing. Before they had a chance to open fully.…

Nothing 2

I still think about you often. I think I’m making you too perfect. But then I remember your subtle gestures and my love for you is still strong. I remember your eyes and why they were so powerful. Your eyes made me fall in love with you. Your eyes revealed your soul to me. It’s…

Nothing 1

Dragging my fingers across the wooden table. Contemplating. But at the same time having an empty mind. The stillness of everything in sight, but the laughter of those across the hall: there is life somewhere. I remember the eyes I looked at today. Wide and caring. Wanting information I could not give. They are intelligent…

Nothing

I started isolating myself. And after a while it became all I knew. It was my only identity. I just didn’t belong anywhere. There was no one I could relate too. There were, but I couldn’t get anywhere anymore, because the isolation became so much a part of me. When the time came that I…